A classic tale of gambling, fuelled by greed, lack of knowledge and one very convincing Geordie!

It was early 2000, just over half way through the 1st year. We weren't strapped for cash, but hey, there's always room for a bit more! Neil (Chubs) was boasting about his latest success on the stock market. The idea was suggested to Andy and John (two very naive students at the time!) to invest money into this unheard of company.
Chubs claimed "double ya money in 2 weeks leeeek". So do the maths: £100 magically turns into £200... wicked!
"Right!" said John with a clap of the hands. Both lads initially decided on £250 each. A few days later the stakes were raised to £500 each! The cheques were written and off we went. The boys were so excited that they were checking their share price on-line every hour. It started at 46p per share before rocketing to 72p per share over the next few days...you can imagine the delight!!

However, the joy wasn't to be long-lived when, in typical fashion, the stock market disappeared through the floor heading towards New Zealand! Neil said "Don't worry leeek, it'll start going back up again." However, 18 months later, yes..18 months later we saw our pride and joy slumped at 23p per share like an abandoned wreck! We lost 50%. What better ways are there to lose £250?

So what we have to say to you Chubs is: "Double ya money in 2 weeks?" More like halve your money in 18 months!!

Here are some of the posts we left on the website, directed at our lovely shares:

These shares are about as much use as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest! Bought them about a year ago at 46p - you see my frustration! poo pants! Only one thing to say - "Show me the money!"


Movement soon? Yeah Right.I think i'll just wait around and chew on my dick for another 12 months!!!Give me my money back you bandits!!


Dear santa, please can you bring me for Christmas:
A new bike
A horse
Sweets
and.........................A Fortress Holdings share price of £13.67.
I will be a good boy for the remainder of the year! Thanks Love Andy, John and Chubs xxx


Now then, a close source informs the share price is rising....what? No no, get back down to 20p thank you! It's about time, still some life in the corpse yet, it's like waiting for 'me mams diesel fiesta to hit 60'.......carry on.


Well that rise lasted all of 10 minutes! And i had all my plans mapped out for buying new houses and cars!! Suppose I should go back chewing my dick for another 12 months - give me my money back you robbing gits. I'm a student, i can't afford all this money being tied up! "You'll get double ya money in 2 weeks, leek" 14 months later......Sorry did you say double ya money or half it? Word up, Ich bin der pappa!


Why is this price being lazy? Oiii..... get off you fat, hairy arse and get soaring up to £16.78 per share!! What are you doing at 27p you bum? I need that money so I can buy some soap to have a wash with!Sorry boys but it's as much use.....
Hound from the Pound


Look......just look at ye. A disgrace. When will you get into gear (1st!) and get up to £16.35 / share. I'm absolutely fed up with ye. Everyday i come on, more and more of my student loan is going down the drain............500 quid. Right that's it, you're coming out now, every last penny, no i don't want to hear it, no.........no! shut up, i've laid it on the line once too often with you well that's it now, you're going in an ISA where you'll eat about 6% interest, making me £250, yes YOU HEARD!!!!!!£250.............And when you've finished i'm going to have you deported to.........Israel where you'll work for some Arab and his Camel called Akmed ferrying Chinese tourists around with big Cannon Cameras taking photos of....................SAND!
So there.


i feel really rubbishy now..............i didn't mean it. I mean, i was just in a bad mood the other night, i mean at tea my baked beans had stuck to the pan then my quality Warburtons bread from Morrisons set the fire alram off in the toaster.....just had to vent my anger and fury some how....i'm sorry. Here, i'll leave you in for now ok just so long as you don't keep on taunting me, i mean you've already wiped your ar*e on 50% of the money i invested (part of my student loan) then flushed it down the toilet whilst sniggering loadly. Deal?.......yeah i knew you would! Got to go now, but i'll check on you later, take care and keep warm, oh and we'll have you off to bed early tonight ok.Bye!


That's good, really good, just try and keep the pace up there. You know how i said to eat plenty of carbohydrates, you know, to give you plenty of energy, well how much did you take? What, only 3 bananas! That's not enough now is it! In my cupboard there a bag of Tesco's potatoes and some wholemeal bread, so eat plenty tonight for tea ok. Tomorrow i want to.........what?......You've had enough! What do you mean you've had enough! You've still got another 15p to make up yet, now look!!!! If you don't.........aaaaaah,sorry. Come on, get your act together, useless moaning...... tut. Tomorrow i want to see another substantial increase right ok......ok!Thank you, oh and there's some more 'Carbo drink' in the fridge. I'll give you a call tomorrow on your BTCellnet,Cheers.


so, end of June it is then. Corfu or Crete? sorry? Corfu, yea but....ok Corfu it is then. See, if you get up to £16.75 / share then i'll be able to take some spending money too, before returning after 2 weeks of sun to my mansion in Kensington and taking the 360 Modena for a quick spin with Dave.Not long now boys, not long now.....