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Actual signs that are rather amusing:

Over a gynecologist's office: Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

On a plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in Pennsylvania: Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

Pizza shop slogan: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.

Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a veterinarian's waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

Door of a plastic surgeon's office: We can help you pick your nose!

On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.

In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take Appropriate action.

On a maternity room door: Push...Push...Push

At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We'll wait.



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article of incorporation for pennsylvania

--- For Those Who Hate to Shop: Vending Maachine Clothes ----

LONDON, England - Clothing from a vending machine will soon be the next fashion craze. At least that's the hope of de- signer Helena Rosen who offers disposable T-shirts, dresses, bags and skirts that have no seams, zips, or buttons. She is currently working on making disposable trousers, too. The clothes will come flatpacked in the vending machine, and the consumer would need to properly fold, assemble, and tuck the garment and perhaps tug on a cord. As she designed her "AnyWear" collection, Rosen marveled at its simplicity: "I was amazed to realize how much can be achieved by simple folding, cutting, and gathering techniques." Though the sales plan is still in development, her goal is to someday have her vending machines in airports, train stations, and hotels for those on the go. T-shirts will be $14.80, and the other products may be a bit more expensive.

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Children's Letters to God

The following "Children's Letters to God" come, I believe, from a book of the same title:

Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? -Jane

Dear GOD, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? -Lucy

Dear GOD, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? -Anita

Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -Norma

Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -Nan

Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil

Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -Joyce

Dear GOD, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up. -Bruce

Dear GOD, If You give me a genie lamp like Aladin, I will give you anything you want except my money or my chess set. -Raphael

Dear GOD, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. -Larry

Dear GOD, I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. -Nan

Dear GOD, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea. Sincerely, Donna

Ah, the innocence of children! In the midst of all their misunderstanding, there is such a wonder about God. I would like to think that as we grow in our understanding of God, we never cease to lose the "wonder".

Do you find that, after all these years, you still stand in awe of who God is, of His creative power, and of His matchless love? Do the stories of Jesus' miracles still "amaze" you?

"But Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.' " (Matthew 19:14)

"Father, may I grow in maturity, but never lose that faith of a child!"

Alan Smith Boone Church of Christ Boone, NC

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home.

- Henry Drummond 1786-1860; English banker, political figure & religious leader

His Light

Last time I saw him, I should have known, His presence told me, To let him go.

His eyes were closed, He knew I was there, He whispered words, I now pray to hear.

Dear God, please tell me, I need to know, Did his dying pain cease, When his heart couldn't beat.

Did his eyes close? Did he see your glow? Is he safe now with you? I believe it so.

He's now above us, All around us, He see's our hearts, The pain we feel,

He smiles on us, Gives us peace, For now he sleeps, in your arms, For the light we saw, now is yours.

New Testament Verse for the Day: 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

New Testament verse for the day: 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

- Courtney Offutt

New Testament verse for the day: 1 Chronicles 16:10-11 Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

Webmistress tells us: "I feel great! Send me another case. And one for my Mother!"

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article of incorporation for pennsylvania