DANGEROUS TORPEDO

During the World War II, a British warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the First Officer to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something - at least they would die laughing.

So the First Officer went down and said to the crew, "What would you think if I could split the whole ship in two by hitting my pecker against the table?"

The crew burst out laughing. So the First Officer pulled out his pecker  and whammed it on the table. Just when his pecker hit the table, a huge explosion tore the ship apart.

The only survivors were the captain and the First Officer.

As they floated around in a lifeboat the captain asked the First Officer, "Well, the crew really died laughing, didn’t they."  "What did you do?"  The First Officer told him and the captain replied, "Well, you better be careful with that pecker of yours.  The torpedo missed!"

COMMUNICATION

One reason the Military has trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.  For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.

Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.

Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.

The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.