CAPTAIN'S MESSAGE

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind.

The ensign's efficiency had been remarkable. In fact, the deck was a buzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not at all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.

He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon getting the ship underway, according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules. Make sure the Captain is aboard before getting under way!"

New submarine Ensign

A new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy.

He was trying to impress the Chief with his expertise learned in Submariners School.

The  Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, 'sir', it's real simple. Just add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn't come out even, don't open the hatch."