satyricon au go go

Winter of Discontent

"Revenge triumphs over death; love slights it; honour aspires to it; grief flieth to it." - Francis Bacon.

ª

Vin lay silent, buried in the snow. Only the muzzle of his rifle and a blue eye squinting along the barrel underneath his snow covered blanket gave him away. He lay there and he watched and waited.

He'd followed the tracks of the cat that was worrying the local livestock for a week now. He'd tracked it in circles and when he'd tracked it up into a tree he knew for certain he was dealing with a jaguar and not a mountain lion. Which was a bitch because jaguars were tricky bastards and this one was no different. Like a lone wolf it ranged about on the furthest properties, taking the odd animal that strayed too far. So far it had only taken livestock, but it didn't take too many bloody animal carcasses for mothers like Mary to take alarm and so Vin had volunteered to do what he did best and hunt the beast.

To be honest, he'd dragged out the hunt, following the animal, watching its ways and habits, fascinated, and just plain happy to be by himself out here, in the peace and quiet.

Here there were no human complications. Just snow, rocks, tufts of grass eaten down to the roots and her, the huntress, dropping down through the land with a grace and belonging that Vin could only admire and envy.

If his limbs were cold and stiff, he did not feel it. He was content here, alone, watching and waiting. He did not want a bullet to end it, this dance between the hunter and the hunted, so he lay there, and watched, and let the game play out until he had no choice but to end it. Only then would he pull the trigger. Only then. For now, he was content to wait, and let his quarry prowl and preen before him, all sinewy muscle and beautiful, deadly intent.

 

Chris' spurs jangled as he stalked into the saloon. He always made an entrance, holding himself tall, sizing up the other patrons, never sure if today was the day his past was going to catch him and bite him in the arse.

There were a dozen or so strangers but no faces he recognised, and in the corner sitting merrily at a table were his friends.

Strange, that he should have friends after the life he'd led, but there they were, most of them, Buck already smiling and waving him over. Buck had stood by him, even at a distance, through a hell of a lot, and Chris felt a warmth towards Buck he'd not felt in quite some time. He smiled in return, in spite of himself, and slunk over to the table, sliding down into the chair Buck kicked out for him.

Ezra nodded to him in a businesslike fashion and dealt Chris in, without skipping a beat. Chris turned up his cards, glanced at them and said nothing.

Ezra fanned his own hand, grinned, and threw a couple of coins into the centre of the table.

Buck rubbed his moustache thoughtfully trying to figure out if Ezra was bluffing or not. His shining open face suggested one thing, but Buck knew how sneaky the little bastard could be. And he was always changing the rules. One minute he'd bluff, the next he wouldn't. Buck could never catch him out. Didn't stop him trying though.

Ezra smirked, knowing he had Buck exactly where he wanted him, card wise. Ezra was an almost preternatural card counter. It was as if god had given him the gift for gambling, and like a musical prodigy, he'd found his gift early.

Ezra was happy, comfortable in his skin again, and Buck was glad.

Buck savoured the taste of his whisky and let it rest on his tongue for a moment before swallowing it down.

Everything felt right. Vin was out of town tracking that jaguar or mountain lion or whatever it was that was prowling around the pens at night, but things had settled down. Ezra had stopped mooning over Vin like a lovesick calf, Chris had stopped being sour and JD had a light in his eyes again.

The tension between Chris and Ezra, if not downright hatred, had worn on all of them, but on JD most of all. He hated to see his friends fight and Buck wondered again about the Dunne family home, and how happy, or not, it had been.

Ezra was back to his old wicked self, dealing and cheating at cards until well into the wee small hours when he finally scooped up and pocketed his winnings, bidding them good night with a flashing white smile.

ª

Ezra sat quietly in his chair in his little room, sipping his best Tennessee mash, listening to the sounds of the street below, long after the saloon had shut. He didn't move an inch when his door opened and closed almost soundlessly. He just took another sip of his whisky, then said after a long while: "I thought you might come tonight. I waited for you."

"Did you know?" a voice answered with a smile. "Here I was out hunting, and all the while I was being hunted. You were just going to wait for me and let me come to you, weren't you?"

"It worked, didn't it?" Ezra allowed himself a smile. A roughened hand slid over his cheek in a caress and he closed his eyes, pressing into the palm, kissing it.

The hand drew back, rubbing through his hair, as if getting his scent. Ezra tilted his head back and felt a warm breath as a mouth hovered over his, uncertain for a moment, before sealing their flesh together, making Ezra open for him and take him in. Hot, wet hungry kisses, warm lips pressed to cold. Vin was crouching by the chair and Ezra pushed forward, snatching at Vin's coat and pulling him closer, grabbing his hair and pushing his tongue as deep as it would go.

They came up for air and Ezra came out of his chair, pushing Vin down onto the floorboards. They never even made it as far as the bed.

ª

"Love is like any other luxury. You have no right to it unless you can afford it." - Anthony Trollope 1875.

ª

It was a late, languid afternoon and Ezra watched the coach roll into town from his vantage point in front of his saloon, casually noting each of the passengers as they disembarked and classifying them as marks, or not.

Ezra let the chair he was lazing in fall forward with a hard, teeth rattling thump. There, descending from the steps of the coach was his mother, and the nest of vipers in his stomach started twisting and slithering about. This never boded well. Visits from his mother were tests to be endured, and Ezra wasn't in a mood to be tested.

This visit quickly proved to be no less traumatic than the last. Ezra stood, completely still, frozen in the act of stowing his mother's luggage in her hotel room.

He turned, staring in shock and disbelief.

His mother beamed. "Well, say something."

Ezra blinked. "I - I can't." He took a moment to compose himself. "No."

"No?"

"No, mother. That's my answer. No."

His mother looked shocked and Ezra grew bolder.

"No, I will not marry, and I will certainly not marry somebody I've never met, somebody you've picked for me just because she has money and can keep you in the manner to which you've become accustomed. In fact, why don't you marry her, mother."

A stinging slap across his face silenced him.

"How dare you. Ungrateful child. I was trying to help you as you have shown no interest in marrying so far."

Ezra's eyes flashed but she ignored him.

"I go out of my way to find a rich young widow willing to marry you just on the strength of a photograph and my glowing references and you throw it back in my face. Ezra, her capital could set you up for life."

"I don't want her money. I don't want a wife."

"I wasn't giving you a choice. I am telling you that you will marry this girl. It's a done deal."

Ezra's eyebrows rose. "Is it? And tell me, dear mother, what is my bride getting out of this arrangement?"

"Respectability."

Ah. His mother had passed him off as old money: blue bloods fallen on hard times since the war. Some robber baron's family was willing to pay a lot of money to get Ezra's fake pedigree on their family crest.

"You might be able to force me to marry this girl but you'll never be able to force me to father a child on her."

"Don't be so sure. One man is as good as another. So long as the colouring matches nobody need know it isn't yours."

"You've thought of everything, haven't you, mother."

"Somebody has to."

Ezra stood his ground. "I'm not getting married, mother."

"You will if I say you will. You owe me for all the trouble I went to raising you."

Ezra reeled back as if struck again. "Owe you? You whelped me, mother, nothing more."

"You are my son and you will do as you're told."

"No. Not this time. No."

Maude's eyes narrowed. "Is there someone else? Some little paramour in this back water who has taken your fancy?"

"No," Ezra tried, but he'd hesitated for a second, a fatal second.

Maude shook her head in disgust.

"You're determined to rot in this wretched little hole, wasting your god given talents, drinking yourself to an early grave. There's more of your father in you than I ever credited."

"I wouldn't know," Ezra snarled back.

That was enough. She silenced him with another blow. "You're such a disappointment to me. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Blood will always tell."

Ezra recoiled slightly from the stinging slap, eyes bright in reflex.

"What you do with yourself after your married is none of your wife's affair, but you will marry this girl. I've always turned a blind eye to your disgusting little habits..."

"Disgusting?" Ezra took umbrage at the word. "What sort of mother passes her child around to her male friends like a box of cigars? Are you surprised I got a taste for it like all that liquor you poured down my throat to keep me quiet."

Another hard blow, and this time he had to struggle to hold back the tears, his cheek bleeding from where her ring had caught him.

"You mind me, Ezra, and keep your filthy words and your filthy little affairs to yourself. I've put too much into this deal to let you ruin it."

"What's your cut, Mother? The house? The dowry? Stocks and shares?"

"All of the above as it happens. Don't you dare spoil this for me."

"Or what? You'll financially ruin me again?"

Her eyes narrowed. Ezra must have a nest egg stashed away somewhere, to be so wilful. No matter, there were worse things than poverty. She would drive Ezra from this town, break whatever had a hold on him here, no matter what.

"What do I get for signing on the dotted line?" Ezra asked, coldly curious.

"A mother's love," Maude snarled. In other words, nothing.

Ezra grew vicious: "What's the matter, mother? Suitors drying up? You can't sell yourself any more so you're back to selling me?

This time the blow made his ears ring. Ezra glared at her defiantly.

"You used me. I was your child and you used me. No more. I won't be a party to this. The marriage is off."

"I don't think so, dear. I've put a lot of effort into this deal. You back out now and I will ruin you."

"Again?" he taunted. "You’ve already played that card."

"I took your saloon from you once before. It won't take much to destroy your name in this town."

Ezra's look darkened.

She shook her head sadly.

"Foolish child. You think the people in this town give a damn about you? You think they actually like you? You're deluding yourself. Just a whisper and they'll all turn against you."

Ezra rose up. "You wouldn't dare?"

"Wouldn't I? We'll see how much you want to stay when I've finished with you. You'll be lucky they don't drive you out of town in tar and feathers. They're not your friends, Ezra. They never will be."

Ezra looked rattled, and Maude pressed her advantage.

"Ezra, dear, why do you have to stay here in this dung heap? You'll have a big house, nice clothes, a pretty wife. What more could you want?"

"Love?" Ezra suggested sarcastically.

His mother laughed, dismissing him.

"Love is for fools. Poor fools. It's money that keeps you warm at night."

"You'd know, mother dear," Ezra shot back, and he was out of reach this time.

She shook her head. "I don't understand you, Ezra. This is the deal of a lifetime."

"Your deal."

"Is that what this is? You're jealous that I set this up?"

It was Ezra's turn to shake his head, turning away from her. "You wouldn't understand. I have everything I need here, mother. I don't want anything more."

She shot him a venomous parting glance. "We'll see," she promised.

With that, her interview with her son was over. Trust Ezra to be difficult. She would have to bring him to heel, just as she always did. These little shows of rebellion, they soothed his precious and fragile male ego, but they were all puff and bluster and they meant nothing. Maude always had her way.

His mother had fired her parting shot and bustled out, leaving Ezra to pace the room in a twisted rage, finally slamming down several shots of whisky until his hands stopped shaking.

An arranged marriage. His mother had sold him off like a piece of merchandise to the highest bidder. He sank down on the bed with his head in his hands. And what a poor bargain they would be getting.

ª

"Married?"

The news had elicited knowing smirks from Chris, Nathan and Josiah, but Buck and Vin were near doubled over with laughter, Buck leaning helplessly on Vin, whooping loudly, until Ezra's pale and pained look forced at least Vin to try and stand up and keep a straight face.

"I sorry," Vin tried, and started Buck snickering and wheezing on his shoulder again.

"You, married?" Buck wailed, setting off on another fit of giggles so hard they hurt.

Only JD looked perplexed, not quite understanding why the idea of Ezra marrying a girl was so damn funny, and nobody was going to explain it to him either. He knew Ezra liked boys, but that didn't mean he was never going to get married, surely?

Ezra, his pride pricked beyond measure, and deeply wounded by their mocking, adjusted his cuffs while he waited for Buck's heaving laughter to subside a little.

"I'm glad my predicament offers you all such amusement," he announced, with a bitterness that caught Vin instantly, wiping the smile from his face. "My mother has sold me off to the highest bidder," he looked sharply at Nathan. "And all you can do is laugh."

"Can't you just say no?" JD asked.

Ezra took on a brittle air. "Nobody ever says no to my mother," he admitted, downcast. "She won't give me any choice. She'll ruin me if I don't do what she says."

It would have been funny, thinking of Ezra as a momma's boy, if he hadn't looked so utterly destroyed, and they knew Maude's threats were not idle ones. They'd seen her make life difficult for Ezra before, just for sport.

He slowly raised his head, meeting Vin's eyes, clearly asking, begging for a reason to stay and fight.

Vin's eyes flicked away and Ezra sank down into despair again, but too late. Buck had seen it, the look that had flashed between them for an instant, and he knew that Ezra had been bluffing him all this while. Ezra wasn't over Vin. He wasn't over Vin at all, and Buck wasn't the only one to suddenly sense the renewed spark of electricity that had flickered between them for just an instant. An instant was all that was needed.

ª

"You lied to me."

Ezra tried to walk around Buck, to get to the staircase that led up to his room, but Buck wouldn't let him pass.

"You looked me in the eye and you told me it was over," Buck accused.

Ezra met his accusation with weary, cold annoyance. "What did you expect from me? The truth?"

Buck gave him his most dangerous smile. "Now don't you go starting on that again." He blocked off Ezra's attempt to get past him, continuing their dance.

Ezra exhaled harshly, an unwilling player in these games. "I wanted it to be over. There, does that help you? I wanted it to be over, but it wasn't. I told you, I couldn't bear to see him everyday, I couldn't just look and not touch. You wouldn't let me leave town and so I succumbed."

"Are you saying this is my fault?" Buck grew quickly angry as Ezra tried to push past him again.

"No. I'm saying once a thief, always a thief. I know Vin isn't mine but that doesn't mean I can't take -"

"Is this about sticking it to Chris? Because he'll make you pay, again, Ezra. I warned you: Chris doesn't take kindly to being crossed."

"Do you think I care?" Ezra challenged, voice rising. "He could shoot me down where I stand right now and it would be a blessing. My life is over, so you just take your sermons and your lectures and go bother Josiah with them because I have had it with this town!" And with that he knocked past a startled Buck and stomped his way up the stairs, slamming his door behind him.

ª

Vin knocked quietly on Ezra's door and it pushed open under his touch, so he swung it open wider.

Ezra lay on his bed, smoking quietly, staring at the ceiling, thinking. The room smelt strongly of opium but Vin let it be. Ezra felt things very keenly for a con man and Vin would let him have whatever emotional balm he needed right now.

"I found all your books for sale in the store," Vin began quietly.

"I won't be needing them where I'm going."

"You sound like you're going to die."

"That would be a kindness, I assure you."

Vin moved silently, edging closer to the bed.

"Are you really leaving?"

"It doesn't seem that I have much choice in the matter."

Vin said nothing, his eyes flicking around the room, noting that much had been packed away or disposed of.

"Do you need to go so soon?"

Ezra sat up, looking at Vin at last, meeting his eyes, searching them.

"Ask me to stay," he spoke in a whisper.

Vin stepped back, unable to meet that intense green gaze and Ezra flopped back on the bed, covering his eyes for a moment, heart breaking.

"I thought so," he announced bitterly. He brought his arm down and glared at Vin. "That would be making a choice, wouldn't it."

Vin bristled. "I -"

"You want Chris. You've always wanted Chris. I know that. I see the way your eyes follow him around the room. But what does that make us?"

"Friends," Vin offered.

"Friends," Ezra snorted, throwing the word back at him.

"I'm sorry I can't give you more."

Ezra sat up again. "No, you've given me enough." His voice started to crack. He glanced about, trying desperately to maintain his composure. "Be sure to come and visit. I'll send the address. I'm sure my wife would love to meet my old friends."

Ezra's voice was bitter and Vin knew exactly how much a scruffy bounty hunter would be welcome in Ezra's fine house.

Vin drew back. Ezra was searching his face again, begging for a reason to stay and Vin, he just couldn't give Ezra the reason he needed. He couldn't give up the idea of Chris. In his heart, he couldn't.

Ezra saw the battle lost, and dropped his eyes away.

"Don't leave without saying goodbye," Vin asked of Ezra quietly, and Ezra nodded numbly.

Vin backed out of the room, wishing there was some way he could honestly give Ezra what he wanted, but knowing he couldn't. He left, and Ezra silently watched him go from the landing, leaning tragically against the stair rail.

Down below Maude caught the look of sad longing on her son's face, and she saw the reason for it coming down the stairs, and her mouth set in a hard, thin line.

ª

"Mother," Ezra greeted the unannounced and unwanted visit to his rooms.

"I saw him come up here, you know," she accused, leaving Ezra somewhat taken aback.

"I should have known: a penniless bounty hunter," she sniffed, the man's poverty being the most offensive quality to her.

"Vin," Ezra realised, somewhat off balance.

"Vin," Maude sneered at the name. "What were you thinking, Ezra, entertaining a man like that in your rooms."

"You wouldn't know, mother," Ezra chastised quietly, doing his best to ignore her.

"Love?" She snorted the word. "You think you're in love?" she mocked him. "He'll never love you, Ezra. He'll drag you down like a boat anchor. He's trash."

"No. He's a good and decent man. We're the trash, mother." Ezra made sure he was well out of reach this time.

"He's using you." She smiled, seeing Ezra's wince, pleased to have struck a raw nerve. "And you're weak enough to let him."

"You've been going about town reminding everyone of my criminal past," Ezra sulked, steering the unhappy conversation away from Vin.

Maude's eyes narrowed. "Do you think for one second they've forgotten? Do they trust you with money? Do they trust you not to cheat them at cards? Do you really think they want you to back them up in a fight - that they ever really believe you wouldn't run on them at the first opportunity."

Ezra's face crumpled, remembering all the things that had been said behind his back. He twisted away too late: Maude had scored her point.

"You know I'm right," she soothed. "You know you don't really belong here. They'll never trust you. They'll never accept you. You'll never be one of them. You know this, Ezra. In your heart you know it's true. You're an outsider. A thief. You always will be."

"I had a chance," he murmured.

"You never had a chance," she reminded him bitterly.

"Just go," Ezra pleaded.

"Not without you. You know you have no place here. Nobody wants you here. You've outstayed your welcome. Come with me and you'll have a home, wealth, power."

"I'd be living a lie."

"You're living one now, pretending to be a lawman, pretending to be a good man. You're not a lawman, Ezra, you're a con man, and the two just don't mix, like oil and water."

Ezra was leaning on his windowsill, head hung low, defeated.

Damn her, she was right. Chris hated him and Josiah trusted him as far as he could spit a rat. No, not even that far. Nathan was always willing to see the very worst in him. Buck and JD, well they seemed to like him well enough, though JD would never trust his money around Ezra and Vin, Ezra just didn't know about Vin. Or if he did, he didn't want to know the truth.

"You owe this town nothing," Maude fired her parting shot, her battle already won.

Ezra pressed his forehead to the pane of glass, trembling on the edge. She was right. He had nothing. No one.

ª

Chris' eyes burned with cold fury but the Marshall was immune. Chris read the warrant again, as though it would read differently this time. It didn't. The Marshall had come all the way from Tascosa to arrest Vin for murder.

"Who told you he was here?" Chris wanted to know, bristling for vengeance.

"A private citizen."

Chris' jaw set tight. "I see." Someone in this town had betrayed them, betrayed Vin by turning him in for the money.

Chris almost tore the paper in his hands.

"We'll fight this, you know. He's innocent."

"He'll have his day in court."

"He'd better." Chris threw the warrant on the desk and stalked out.

Chris burst out of the gaol and shook off Buck who waited outside. Buck in turn hunched forward and slouched across the road to the saloon.

Ezra coming out onto his veranda for a breath of fresh air saw the commotion and struck a match, lighting a cigar as Buck marched towards him.

"What's the drama this time?" Ezra drawled.

Buck flashed him an angry look, ready to kill someone.

"A Marshall and his posse came from Texas to arrest Vin. They're going to take him back and hang him."

Ezra's eyes widened, cigar drooping in his hand.

"They can't do that, can they? Can't you do anything? This isn't Texas."

"I know that," Buck ground out the words. He jerked his head down the street. "Chris has gone to wire the judge."

"How'd they find where Vin was holed up?"

"Somebody told them."

Ezra went another shade paler. Stricken, unable to help the reflex, Ezra turned, staring to where his mother sat in the saloon, seemingly oblivious, cheating some poor sucker out of a week's wages. He wished it wasn't true, but he knew deep in his gut it was so.

Buck couldn't believe Ezra's horror.

"She did it?" His face twisted.

"Who else? She's been busy removing all impediments to my forthcoming marriage."

Buck grabbed him and slammed him up against the slatted wall so hard it shook the dust free.

"You son of a bitch, you caused this?"

"I'm sorry!" Ezra's plea was strangled by grief and Buck's hold on him. "I'm sorry. I never meant this to happen. I love him."

"And now you've killed him," Buck hissed. He let Ezra drop and walked away.

Ezra just sat where he'd fallen, then he crumpled forward, weeping in spite of himself, utterly at a loss at what to do.

ª

"Get out of here, Ezra," Nathan bristled as Ezra appeared in the doorway of the gaol, bowed and beaten. Josiah looked him over darkly but reserved his judgement, for now.

"I said get the hell out!" Nathan pushed forward and Ezra began to recoil.

"No! Let him be!" That was Vin, standing up to his full height, coming to the bars and holding out his hand, inviting Ezra closer.

"I know you didn't do this," Vin appeased quietly. "I know."

Ezra took shuffling steps towards Vin, weighted down in misery, until he was close enough to the bars for Vin to touch his face tenderly, lifting it up to the lamplight so he could see Ezra's eyes and the terrible cuts and bruises that marked Ezra's face. Chris' handiwork, of that he had no doubt. Ezra was lucky he wasn't dead. He was still bleeding, but Nathan wouldn't touch him, feeling Ezra got whatever he deserved. Now, this close to Vin, a silent tear started sliding down his face.

"Hey now," Vin soothed. "I know you never meant for this to happen. I know it. Judge Travis is going to find me a lawyer. It'll be okay, you'll see."

Ezra came closer to the bars, dropping his voice to a whisper. "You're going to die, just for knowing me."

"No, and I'm glad to have known you, Ezra." His hand covered Ezra's where it held the iron bar, his thumb stroking Ezra's skin softly.

"We can't be responsible for other people's actions, just our own."

Ezra looked utterly stricken. "I'm so sorry. I'm so ashamed. I never meant to hurt you. I never told her..."

"I know. It's alright, Ezra," Vin soothed softly. Their faces were so close, almost touching. It was no trouble for Vin to brush Ezra's lips with his own, to press his mouth to Ezra's, opening for a proper kiss. Ezra clung to him and they pressed against each other through the bars, sharing that one last, desperate kiss.

"Well, ain't that sweet."

Ezra sprang away to find the Texas Marshall grinning with sickening amusement at him.

Vin just coolly regarded the Marshall for a long moment, then ignored him, going back to his bunk.

The spell broken, Ezra was brought back to horrible reality with a jolt, seeing nothing but the blame in his friend's eyes. He scurried off like Old Nick himself was on his tail.

Nathan settled down again, defiant, but Josiah was ruminating on the scene that had just been played before them. The pieces of the puzzle had all fallen together. Hell hath no fury than a mother disapproving of her child's paramours. Ezra might be the cause of this, but he was not entirely to blame. As far as Josiah could see, Ezra's only fault was to imagine himself in love with Vin.

How quickly something that should be as beautiful as love could turn to ugliness and death. Josiah had seen this tale played out too many times, and he knew how it would end.

So did Vin, though he refused to show any amount of fear or bitterness. Why was it that the most honourable of men were always undone by the most squalid of means? Josiah pondered this, not believing either Vin or Ezra deserved what they were about to suffer for their transgressions.

ª

Chris dragged his chair close to the bars and leant forward, worn and unshaven.

"How are you doing?"

Vin glanced about his cell and Chris knew the answer. Stupid question.

"Have you heard from the Judge?" Vin asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

"He's still trying to find a lawyer for you. It's going to take time, and money."

"Money's not a problem," Vin assured him.

Chris was about to ask how a penniless lawman could afford a fancy lawyer, then he realised how.

"You took money off the man who put you here?"

"Ezra didn't do this, and he's the only one who can afford to hire me a decent lawyer."

"Well, you better get the money off him before his mother takes it all, again."

"Mary has it. I trust her, so does Ezra. She's holding the deed to the saloon, as collateral, in case we need it."

"Well, I guess Ezra won't be needing it any more, where he's going."

Vin leant back, shaking his head at Chris' tone.

"I heard you had a visit from Ezra," Chris accused.

"Leave him alone, Chris. He never meant for this to happen. This isn't his fault. I stayed here too long, instead of moving on or clearing my name." He flicked a look at Chris, one that reminded Chris that he'd killed the only man who could have proven Vin's innocence.

Chris leant forward, angrily. "If it wasn't for Ezra you wouldn't be in here."

"Don't, Chris. Just stay away from Ezra. You don't have to beat him up to make him feel bad about this."

Chris rocked back in his chair, not believing his ears. "You're defending him?" Then his eyes narrowed. "You're still fucking him," he accused. He shook his head, springing to his feet and pacing. "You went behind my back and you fucked him."

Vin didn't have to answer. Chris remembered the look between Vin and Ezra. He hadn't imagined it. Of course, and Ezra's mother had seen it too. That's what this was all about: getting rid of Vin; getting him away from Ezra.

"Chris," Vin tried, but Chris just shook his head, too angry for words. Too betrayed to listen.

"Chris." Vin was against the bars, pleading quietly.

"No. Later," was all Chris said, grabbing his hat and walking out.

Vin sagged against the bars, resting his forehead against the metal. Dear god, did he have to lose everything in his life in pieces: Ezra, his freedom, Chris. He closed his eyes. He'd lost Chris. And he was afraid. He didn't want to die. That's why he'd run in the first place.

ª

It was as if nearly the whole town had turned out to witness the spectacle of Vin being dragged out of the gaol in heavy manacles and loaded onto a horse by the Marshall and his deputies, all bristling with rifles brandished high if anyone dared to stop them.

No one would. The men were bound by the law and orders from Judge Travis and the townsfolk, well, the townsfolk had turned on Vin and seemed to be happy to have him run out of town like a common criminal, which further soured the whole nasty business for the remaining six.

"I'll be right behind you," Chris called as the Marshalls prepared to ride Vin out.

Vin twisted in his saddle, his hands tied.

"We'll fix this," Chris promised with a searing look. He stood back and watched, bitter and useless as they snatched up the bridle of Vin's horse and rode him away.

He was filthy furious as he stalked along the sidewalk. Ezra was nowhere to be seen, Buck having wisely bundled the little bastard out of sight. Ezra had brought this down upon all of their heads. Ezra had been at Vin again, and now Vin had been handed over to hang for a murder he didn't commit.

Chris had been angry with Vin, incensed over his lying and cheating, his weakness where Ezra was concerned. He blamed Vin for his lack of restraint, he blamed Vin for not clearing his name before now, but now he turned the blame to where it properly lay. Because of Ezra, Vin was going to die.

ª

"Guilty."

The gavel cracked like a gunshot as it slammed down, condemning him.

Vin closed his eyes, blind and deaf to the roar of outrage of his friends, and the bark of Travis telling the boys that the courtroom wasn't the place, clearing them out.

Vin rocked back, caught by the two guards who grabbed him and began to drag him out of the court house like a sack of grain between them.

For weeks now Vin had come to rely on, to believe the assurances of Chris that the judge and jury here were good men and they'd see through the lies. Chris had tried so hard to find the evidence needed to prove Vin's innocence, but it was too late. Memories had faded and witnesses had died. Vin had prayed, prayed hard for the men in court to see he was innocent, but it looked like he was going to be called to judgement instead.

To be hung from the neck until he was dead. Vin landed in his cell, tossed in like so much garbage. No one would meet his eyes. He rolled over on his bunk, covered his own eyes and waited for the dawn, which would bring his death.

 

The saloon was too damn noisy, all the patrons excited at the prospect of the free entertainment that was going to be staged for them the next morning.

Their delight in his friend's scheduled death twisted in Chris' stomach like a bag of rattlers and he had to get out, before he did something stupid like get screaming drunk, shoot up the place and end up in the cell next to Vin's. A part of him wanted to die with Vin, but he'd lived through the deaths of his family and he wasn't about to give in to any dark urges now.

He just had to get out. Their loud rolling laughter slammed into him like body blows, sending his blood boiling.

He paused in the alley, lighting a cigarillo, breathing the smoke into his lungs. He tried to savour the tobacco, and tried to forget what the morning would bring.

A flash of scarlet and a walk he knew too well, spied out of the corner of his eye, kicked him in the guts further and he ground out the cigarillo beneath his boot, no longer having the taste for it.

Chris' eyes dismissed Ezra the moment he saw him. He didn't have time for this.

"What the hell do you want? Haven't you done enough?" He snarled at Ezra, standing over him, ready to strike.

Ezra stood his ground, his face set. "No." His quiet gaze met Chris in a challenge. "Get me in the gaol and I can get him out."

Chris stared at him as if he were mad.

Ezra grew agitated. "Do you want him to live or not? I'm your only chance now. You have to trust me. I'm the only one who can do this."

"Why should I trust you?" Chris threw it back in Ezra's face, torn between the law, justice, Vin's life and making a deal with the devil.

"Damn you," he agreed with a hiss, sealing their fates.

 

Midnight came and went. Ezra paced on the veranda outside the gaol restlessly, drawing to attention when he saw Chris return at last bearing the key.

"Give me fifteen minutes, to say goodbye," he advised Chris as he took the key from him.

"You've got ten," Chris corrected.

Ezra looked at him for a moment, trying to fathom whether Chris was being cruel or cautious, saw that he was both, and nodded. Ten minutes was better than nothing.

Ezra slipped quietly into the Marshall's offices like a thief, so quietly that Vin didn't stir until he heard the metallic rattle of the key in the lock.

Vin sat up, startled to see Ezra opening the door to his cell, confused even more when Ezra motioned him to be quiet.

"You springing me?" Vin whispered, unable to keep the hope out of his voice as Ezra tossed his hat onto the bunk beside Vin.

Ezra shook his head fondly, steeling himself to the sting of Vin's face falling.

"No," Ezra offered softly. "We'd never make it out of town." He crouched down, eye level with Vin, his hands rubbing softly on Vin's thighs. "I just arranged a few minutes alone with you, to tell you I -"

"I know," Vin hushed him, smiling quietly, the sort of quiet enigmatic smiles the saints had in those old pictures. The smile of a man making his peace with the world.

Mildly frustrated by Vin's calm, Ezra pushed forward slightly, brushing dry lips lightly, then Vin opened beneath him and he slipped his tongue in, stroking softly in a long, sweet as honey kiss that they were sorry to end. Ezra drew back a little, then with an impish grin, sank down between Vin's thighs.

"Something to remember me by," he explained cheerfully, fishing gently in Vin's trousers before applying himself to his business.

Vin closed his eyes tight, his hands grabbing at Ezra's hair and coat as he desperately tried to stay quiet, unable to help the few moans that escaped as Ezra wickedly blew his mind, lifting him up to the sky before he came down again to the hard reality of his cell and his last day on earth.

Ezra kissed him softly on the forehead, a benediction to send him on his way. Then his lips touched Vin's again and they were kissing, desperate now, never wanting to end or leave until the sound of Chris' spurs jangling across the floorboards tore them apart.

Vin looked at Ezra with such hurt, such regret that Ezra reached out and stroked his cheek tenderly.

"There now, none of that." He took Vin's hands in his own and stood, making Vin stand with him. He glanced at Chris over his shoulder. "You ready?" he asked and Chris gave him a curt nod.

Ezra took Vin into his arms for one last embrace, holding him for a long moment, and caught him when Chris smashed the butt of his gun down on Vin's head, rolling Vin's limp body gently onto the bunk.

Wordlessly Ezra took Vin's hat and coat and swapped them for his own. Then he dressed Vin in his scarlet coat, tucking Vin's hair up under the brim of his black hat.

Chris hoisted Vin up into his arms, holding him as if he were drunk on his feet. He turned one last time to Ezra.

"You sure about this?"

Ezra nodded once solemnly.

"It's a far, far better thing I do today," Ezra quoted softly, a wry smile touching his lips.

"Alright," Chris acknowledged. "Keep your head down, until it's time." Chris advised him matter of factly. He lifted Vin up and walked him through the cell door.

Ezra closed the metal bars behind Chris, locking himself in.

"Chris," he called through the bars.

Chris turned and gave him a long, measuring look.

Ezra met the look with a quiet smile.

"Don't worry about me. There was only one way it was going to end and I might as well make it count for something."

Chris nodded. A soft 'hey' brought his eyes back to Ezra's.

"Look after him, okay?"

"Count on it."

Chris nodded to him, a nod that was a small salute of respect, then walked off, quickly, with Vin sagging in his arms.

"He's always out past noon," Chris explained to the lounging and disinterested guards as he dragged Vin down the steps and away from the gaol house.

Inside, Ezra slowly walked to the back wall of his tiny cell, lay down on the fetid bunk, pushed Vin's hat down low over his face and tried to remain calm and focused on what was to come. He was afraid, yet he had the quiet resolve of a man with a mission. His sacrifice gave him a measure of peace. Funny, how a selfish man could give this, the ultimate of gifts.

 

It was a cold, crisp February morning under a wide, pale winter sky. The sun was a watery gold, not warm enough to make much headway against the chill on the wind, which had begun to kick up. There was ice in that wind, they could feel it, biting into their skin.

JD had been sitting by the gallows for a long time, watching the sun climb into the sky, watching a dun coloured hare nibble at the shrivelled brown grasses that poked up near the grain store. A few ravens landed to hunt for and peck at loose grain that had spilled on the ground. JD threw stones at them to scare them off, miserable at the bad omens. The birds didn't go far, just sitting on nearby rooftops, waiting, watching the gallows.

JD stood now, as people began to gather, searching the crowd for a familiar face.

"Buck," JD almost melted with relief, taking comfort in the presence of the taller man, even if Buck looked like he'd aged a couple of decades overnight, worn with anguish.

Buck was distracted, barely acknowledging JD with a nod, casting about, looking for someone.

"You seen Chris?" he asked at last, restless.

JD shook his head. He had to admit, he hadn't.

"Stands to reason he wouldn't want to be here today," JD thought it through.

Buck didn't hide his concern.

"Now you see, I thought he'd want to be here more than anything." He kept scanning the passing strangers, sensing something was very wrong, more wrong than the fact that they were about to hang his friend this morning.

"You don't think?" JD started, hope swelling that Chris was arranging some last minute rescue, a hope that dashed as soon as the gaolers brought forward their hooded captive, to the jeers of the crowd.

"Hey!" JD took offence at the mood of the mob and Buck held him back with a grab at his jacket.

"Easy now, boy. Don't go getting in a fight. Not now. Not here," Buck warned quietly.

JD pulled himself free, watching in anguish as the rope was put around his friend's neck.

"We've got to do something." He struggled.

"No," Buck warned, tired beyond words or deed.

"Coward!" JD spat his venom at Buck and turned away, but did nothing as the words from the bible were spoken and the prisoner was pushed into place. JD twisted away as the condemned man dropped, spinning on the end of the rope.

 

They'd dragged Ezra up from the bunk where he'd lain with his hat pulled down over his face, hiding himself, waiting for them. He'd struggled involuntarily as they'd knocked his hat off and pulled the white hood down over his face, suffocating under the sacking, panicking and breathless, so scared and light headed, his limbs lacking strength. They bound his wrists behind him tightly with rough made rope and pushed him out of the cell, stumbling past the preacher who was mumbling vague words about punishment and eternal torment. Ezra wanted to scream, he wanted to stop, but he could not. He must go through with this.

He forced himself to walk, recoiling as the roar of the crowd hit him as he appeared. He'd always hated hangings, terrified he would end up this way. He was pushed roughly forward and again and dragged up the steps, blind and sweating, unable to breathe under the hood. His heart was hammering as he was moved into position and he felt like puking as the rope was fastened roughly around his neck, but he had nothing left in his stomach.

Vin, he sent out one final plea to the heavens, hoping that this act would redress the balance of his previous misdeeds, or at least count some way in his favour. Vin. He focused on his love for Vin, remembering the soaring in his heart the first and one time Vin had kissed him and meant it, when the floor dropped away beneath him.

The body dropped with a dreadful and heavy fall and Buck looked away for an instant, then forced himself to turn back and watch as his friend struggled with death on the end of the rope. The body twisted and turned, thrashing in a horrible dance that made the crowd cheer.

The body jerked and struggled, slowly strangling to death and Buck cursed the hangman for doing such a sloppy job, causing Vin more pain than he needed. The body spun wildly on the end of the rope, and Buck, forcing himself to watch, willing his friend a quick death, caught a flash of something bright as the hooded figure whipped back and forth. Buck saw the gold ring catch the sun again and understood in a single moment of horror.

"Ezra." He barely mouthed the name.

Nathan's suspicions had realised a second earlier and his knife sliced through the rope, dropping Ezra to the ground with a heavy thump where he lay convulsing in spasms.

Nathan scrambled over to him, gathering him up and holding him tight.

"Damn fool," he cursed as he pulled away the noose and hood. "Didn't I always try to teach you no man's life is worth more than another's?" Nathan held on tightly, shedding wild tears as Ezra kept jerking uncontrollably in his arms.

"Oh dear lord," Judge Travis leant in close and clearly saw Ezra in Nathan's arms and guessed at what had happened. He'd just seen an innocent man hanged in Vin's place.

"The little idiot!" Buck slammed his hat against his thigh. "I told him no man was worth dying for, not like this."

"Why'd he do it?" JD pleaded, in tears, not understanding how this could happen.

"Because Ezra, damn fool that he was, was sweet on Vin, that's why. Loved him enough to die for him."

Startled at this revelation. Judge Travis drew back and let the men have their peace. At least he knew where Larabee was. He'd thought it had been strange, Chris not being here. Now he knew why.

Buck was hunched over, almost tearing his hat in his hands. "The stupid little..." He couldn't speak. He guessed what had happened. At this moment, he could have killed Chris with his bare hands.

"Ezra," Buck knelt down beside him and took his hand tightly, watching as the horrible twitching began to slow. "Don't you die on me, boy. Don't you die on me now. You've got your whole life ahead of you. There was no need to throw it away on a stupid grand gesture like this. You damn fool son of a bitch. You stay with us now, you hear, or there's going to be hell to pay." He glanced up at Josiah, horrorstruck.

Nathan held Ezra tightly in his arms, unable to stop the bitter tears that fell.

"I should have known," he accused himself. "I should have known he’d do something as brave and foolish as this."

JD was stricken. "Nathan, can't you do something? You can save him, can't you?'

Nathan looked up painfully to Josiah. "Say something," he pleaded. Give Ezra the words that he needed.

Josiah bowed his head and joined Buck in kneeling beside Ezra, saying the words as Buck squeezed Ezra’s hand in his own, begging for a miracle, biting back the tears.

 

Down by the creek Vin tried desperately to reach his horse but Chris blocked him, holding him back. He'd woken, here, with Chris, and not in his cell, and suddenly he'd understood what that last searching look from Ezra had meant.

"No!" He struggled, but Chris held him back.

"Stop it!" Chris snarled.

"No!" Vin all but screamed, still throwing himself against the immovable barrier that was Chris. "Let me go!"

Chris grabbed hold of him and shook him, hard.

"It's too late. He's gone. He gave his life for you. Now you ride."

"No." Vin fell back a few steps, defeated. "He died in my place, in my name. My name was all I had."

"You'll pick a new one. This is what he wanted. Don't let his death be in vain."

Vin looked at him with cold fury. "How can I? How can I go on living, knowing I have his blood on my hands?"

"Because...because it's what he wanted."

Vin sank down on the creek bank, shaking his head, but Chris was having none of it. He dragged Vin up by his feet and pushed him at his horse.

"You'll ride. You'll live. You'll find some way to pay him back, but you'll never have the chance if we don't go, now."

Reluctantly, Vin mounted his horse, and gave a long look back towards the direction of Tascosa.

Chris reached over and grabbed Vin's reigns, digging his heels in sharply on his own horse and pulling Vin behind him. They still had several days of hard riding before they crossed the border. Before they were home and free. Vin twisted in his saddle and looked back again. Chris just straightened in his saddle and pressed on. Ezra had made his choice. Vin would just have to learn to live with it.

ª

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." - St John

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