*Omochao at a bar with a bottle of liquor, ranting to the bartender*
Omochao: "Und than, und than there wus thes woon tim, see, I tells that supid reed akinda, his amrulds culd be undergrand, see, cuz thay culd be, anna know wuh he dos? He thraws me unner that weight, und I gat cruched, unc cruched, und cruched. this pepils, thay dunt take hlp, know?"
*Three minutes into Crazy Gadget*
Robotnik: You're too slow! Hurry up or she WILL die!"
Sonic: I fail to see how thats a threat...
*Final battle"
Shadow: How does he stay stuck to ARK, anyway?!
Sonic: Dunno. Hey, where'd the eclipse cannon go...
Shadow: My god.... is the cannon...in..its...
Sonic: JEBUS CHWIST! ISNT THIS STUFF USUALLY BLURRED!?
*Behind the scenes*
Rouge: OK, whos the wise guy who made my feet bigger then my entire body!?
Knuckles: Do you even have legs?
Rouge: Do you even have arms?
Sonic: Ooooh, nice one.
*Knuckles impales sonic with his giant, oversized fist*
*Rouge plants her oversized foot in knuckles head*
*Shadow laughs at the giant mass of blood and fur*
*And then gets shot by tails*
*Who later gets eaten by omochao*
*Who becomes the supreme ruler of ARK*
*Where nobody lives*
*Except a hobo I like to call "Joe"*
*Sonic comes back inside from his battle with Finalhazard*
Big: Where's Shadow?
*Sonic shakes his head and gives Big Shadow's bounce bracelet*
Big: Do you really think the Professor created him, Shadow, to carry out his revenge on all the people of Earth?
Sonic: He was what he was, a b... *blinks* What are you doing here? Where's Rouge?
Big: It's her time of the month, I'm filling in for her.
Sonic: Well... okay... but why YOU?!? Why not Tikal? At least she's got a similar body size and is the same sex?
Big: Tikal's dead, stupid! Besides, I'm everywhere else in the game, WHY THE **** NOT HERE TOO?!?
Sonic: Okay, okay! Sheesh!
Knuckles: So what's next for you Rouge? Off again to find those jewels you love so much?
Big: Naah, I think I'm going to give up that line of work. Too much work for too little pay. Besides, I've got something better on my mind right now.
Knuckles: Nachos?
Big: No, fish you dip****!
Knuckles: If you say so.
*Sonic jumps out of helicopter*
Guy: Hey what do you think youre doing? get that hedgehog!
*Sonic is on wing and reaches down to grab off piece*
Sonic: ...nnn! too...hard....cant...pull...off...
*Sonic yanks real hard and falls down*
*Sonic lands infront of Amy*
Amy: SONIC!!!! you finally fell for me!!!!!
*Amy runs off with Sonic*
*Scene where Eggman wants Rouge to get the last Emerald*
Eggman: I'll give u anything if you get the last Chaos Emerald
Rouge: The ark?
Eggman: Yes
Rouge: The hover craft you use to fly around in cause yer too fat to walk around?
Eggman: Yes
Rouge: The tool box?
Eggman:....uh..yeah yeah
Rouge: Knuckles love for me?
Eggman: Wha- OH OK JUST GET THAT EMERALD!!!
Rouge: Right away sir!!!!
*Final scene, as Sonic/Shadow stop arc*
Both: CLIMATE......CONTROL!
*A/C turns on in ARK*
Director: ACTION!
*Eggman is on TV threatening earth to everyone.*
Eggman: Witness the Eggman Empire of all time!
*Half of ARK blows open to reveal the cannon. It lets out a blast, but instead of heading towards the moon, it heads towards earth.*
Sonic: Hey, what's that beam coming from that cannon?
Tails: I don't know, but it's heading towards us.
Amy: WHAT?!
*The beam is, right now, 100 meters close to earth.*
Sonic: Oh s**t.
*The beam hits the earth, destroying a quarter of the earth. Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles all were in the explosion, and die in it.*
Director: CUT! Eggman!? Why the hell did you blow up the earth? You were supposed to blow up the moon, idiot!
Eggman: The script said that Eggman blows up the earth.
Director: Who did it? Was that you?
Eggman: No it wasn't me, honest to God.
Rouge: I didn't do it either.
Shadow: I changed the script. I did it because I really wanted to dominate the world early.
Director: You're fired!
Shadow:(to himself) Hmm. Doesn't matter if I'm fired or not!
*The scene in Wild Canyon where Knuckles is searching for the Master Emerald*
Take 1
Director: Let's start from the beginning, and ACTION!
*Knuckles searches for the Emerald fragments, but after an hour he finds nothing.*
Director: CUT! Knuckles, you took time not searching for the Emeralds!
Knuckles: I don't get it.
Sonic: Did you forget about the metal detector, knucklehead?
Director: Yeah, you forgot that when the low tone goes off repeatedly, you're closer to the Emerald shards.
Knuckles: Oh, I get it!
Take 2
Director: All right, let's do this again. ACTION!
*Knuckles searches for the shards. A minute later, he finds one. He goes up to a floating robot with a gun, but the gun hits directly at Knuckles.*
Knuckles: OUCH!
Director: CUT! Mr. Robot, you're supposed to miss Knuckles, not hit him!
Robot: Sorry, boss, I just felt like hitting him earlier.
*Sonic and Shadow talking Before the Final Fight*
Shadow: Ah the Blue Hedgehog. I am impressed I thought you would be dead by now!
Sonic: Well I dont Die easy!
Shadow take out a gun BANG!
Sonic - Oh S**t ! I am bleeding ! damnit me and my big A$$ mouth
Shadow: Hahahaha ahahaha I have finally killed Sonic!
Amy : Nooooo Sonic, dont die I need to tell you something!
Sonic: Hurry Amy I dont have much long an... and I am sorry for being so mean to you
Amy: *Sniff* Ok . I am really a MAN!
Sonic - WTF! Shadow pass the Gun! NOW!
Shadow: ...... huh?
Sonic grabs gun BANG! shoots himself in the head*
Amy the man: Oh well ... hey Shadow wanna go out?
Shadow: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh *runs like hell*
*Scene where Sonic is blasted off into space*
*Eggman beats Tails*
*Tails: Sonic!*
Big: FROGGY!!!!!!
Eggman: What?
Big: What have you done to Froggy!!!
*Punches Eggman against the wall*
Eggman: Rouge, help!
Rouge: Got it!
*Rouge kicks Big but bounces off*
*Big grabs Rouge and hurls her into space*
Eggman: SHADOW HELP!!
Shadow: ARE YOU MAD?!?!?!?!
*In Rouge's Security Hall*
Take 1
Rouge: Man I only have 2 minutes left, I wish Dad was here, he would know what to do, he is always so helpful, and the president's bodygaurds would be useful too, man I love jewels but not this much, I need bigger vacation time...
Director: ROUGE YOU ONLY HAVE 2 SECONDS LEFT
Rouge:CRAP
Director:CUT
Take 2
Rouge: Those lasers are blocking the path
Director: GO IN ALREADY
Rouge: OWW OUCH OOH THATS GONNA LEAVE A MARK OW
Director: OH MAN THAT WAS WORTH IT!Cut
Take 3
*Shadow runs in*
Shadow: What the...YOU DIDN'T FIND THE CHAOS EMERALDS!
*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
*Scene where Sonic and Shadow finish off FinalHazard with Chaos Control*
Sonic: Ok, Shadow, this is it!
Shadow: Ready, Sonic! And don't forget, I'm the coolest.
Sonic: No, I'M the coolest!
Shadow: What are you saying!? I can be cool if I want to!
Sonic: Oh yeah?
Shadow: Yeah.
Sonic: No one has to be cool if they don't want to.
Shadow: Oh yeah? I'll show you how cool I am! Take this!
*Shadow uses Chaos Spear on Sonic*
Sonic: Ouch. Sonic Wind!
*Sonic casts Sonic Wind on Shadow*
*Sonic and Shadow keep fighting while the space colony and FinalHazard heads to earth and the planet explodes. Sonic and Shadow both see what happened.*
Sonic: What in the hell...! That was all your fault!
Shadow: No, that was YOUR fault!
Sonic: Oh yeah?!
Shadow: Yeah. That was your damn fault! You started all this, freak!
Sonic: No YOU did!
Shadow: Oh yeah? Let's fight!
*In Final Chase, Shadow sees half a rail missing*
Shadow: Mr.Cut, what do i do?
Director: its Director, and just jump it!
Shadow: Jump it?! Not even Tom Cruise can do that!
Director: So?
Shadow: *Falling though space* You d******!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hyper Knuckles: Can we kill it can we huh huh huh huh huh come on please I wann kill it just let me please come on just let me come on!
*Cue super transformation scene*
Super Tails: Now let's save the world!
Super Sonic: Uh, Tails?
Super Tails: What?
Super Shadow: You're not supposed to go Super, Tails! It's me and Sonic!
Super Tails: I've been in this series since Sonic 2, and if anyone should go Super it's me!
Super Sonic: No way Tails, read the script.
Super Tails: I deserve this! >:(
Super Knuckles: No way, I'm a much cooler character and more popular!
Super Eggman: Well I've been the Number 1 villain since the beginning!
Rouge: AHHHHH MY EYES!!!!!! WHY DOES THE DIRECTOR HAVE TO TORTURE ME WITH THE SUNNY AREAS?!
Knuckles: Tikal is stealing the Master Emerald, but wait, an unexcusable act is occuring... CHAO IS STEALING MY NACHOES!
Tails: Why the hell did they put me in this suit, I'm claustrophobic!
Eggman: Can't...reach..laser..too...fat...
Shadow: Knuckles came out from the sewer and Sonic hangs from the laser? The good guys get all the cool scenes!
Big: Ahh Froggy, I finnally found you!
Amy: Big let go! HELP!!!
Director: Sonic, we installed magnets on the small rockets and the wing, so that you will safely hold on to the rockets and land on the wing.
Sonic: That should be a piece of cake!
Director: It better be. ACTION!
Pilot: The hedgehog vanished! He took everyone out!
*The outside door breaks open. Sonic jumps and holds on to the rockets with his magnetic gloves. He tries to jump on the wing when Tails calls out something.*
Tails: Sonic! You forgot to put on your magnetic shoes!
Sonic: Oops.
*Sonic misses the wing when he tries to land on it.*
Director: And CUT!