MARTIN BLAKE
Jaffa Talk 16(16a) - Summer 2003
Jaffa Talk 15(16) - Summer 2002
Jaffa Talk 14 - Summer 2001
Jaffa Talk 13 - Summer 2000
Martin Blake
The big man with big talents. He may not have the body of a male model (just the bookings) but possesses the ability to make opponents look stupid e.g Brownstar. Very gifted defender had a good season again. I heard the Summer Collection was a hit, especially the Speedos. Always pissed on Saturday nights so turns up for footie looking like death warmed up, but still manages to play like a God.
Season rating - Page 34, item no 3 for Argos's clothes catalogue.
CURRENTLY UNABLE TO LOCATE ARTICLE
Martin Blake: The supposed...Blessed with breasts man
Position: Right back / Team alcoholic
Has had a good season for the Dukes but needs to remember that he must jump if the ball is in the air (probably feels it's too dangerous to head the ball in his delicate Sunday morning condition). Always manages to turn up still pissed every Sunday (and some Wednesdays) and always moaned that he felt knackered after only walking to the pitch. Martin isn't the quickest in the Dukes family but unlike the aforementioned he can control his balls (he's always seeing double anyway!) He always brags about being pissed the night before, but he can never remember waht went on or where he ended up.
Quote: I'll have a lager please.
Name: Martin (featured on page 76 of Kays Catalogue) Blake
Position: Right back / Catwalk
Had his pants destroyed by our own resident junk food champion, Doogie. Can play well when he's sober, no drunk, no sober, er drunk! Came on as sub in the cup final and claimed he wasn't pissed. A good season at right back (even had a shot) but next season you will be a sub (mark my words).