For
once, fashion isn't favouring the stick thin. Instantly recognisable
photographs of elongated, skeletal models such as Gisele Bundchen
and Erin Wassen have been filed. Jennifer Lopez has insured her coveted,
voluptuous backside for one billion dollars. The bottom is at the
forefront of fashion.
The
days of the waif-like model are marked. Formidable, bootylicious buttocks
are the new objects of desire. Astonishingly, the media (as a whole)
isn't currently being accused of bombarding young girls with unrealistic
images of unashamedly gaunt models - heroin chic is dead. Instead,
we are flooded with photographs of Kylie's 'Rear of the Year' and
J.Lo's perfect peach of an ass. It's about time we celebrated the
natural figure of a woman, we've got bums and Li'l Kim couldn't have
picked a better time to release Shake Ya Bum Bum.
There
is no doubt that big bums are big news at the moment and with the
amount of celebrity endorsement they are receiving we are showing
no signs of returning to the days of "does my bum look big in
this?" In an interview with The Observer James Brown, launch
editor of Loaded said, "Jennifer Lopez's backside is an American
landmark.' And who are we to argue? But let it be said that the fetishism
of the backside did not start with the endorsement of the beautiful
Miss Lopez; it started inadvertently on the catwalk.
Back
in 1997 Alexander McQueen send models down the catwalk wearing jeans
so low that they displayed several inches of bum crack. Although these
models were, obviously, stick-thin (and didn't actually look unlike
a posse of pre-pubescent skateboarders with seriously baggy trousers
and ridiculously low Calvin's, I would love to say that they were
builder-esque but they weren't) something happened to the fashion
industry that day - the hipster jean was born. The thong, previously
loved for banishing the demon that was VPL became the showiest item
around. Butterfly embossed and diamenté encrusted thongs and
g-strings drew attention to the new lowness of jeans and drew the
eyes to the new erogenous zone. Even this wasn't enough though; lower
back tattoo's gave the daring and dedicated the edge on the 'look
at my ass' attention grabbing techniques.
Sisqo's
Thong Song was an apt anthem for the summer of 1999, when you couldn't
help but become acquainted with the rear of every woman you encountered.
That was the liberating summer of the thong bikini where those with
backsides Worthing of airing managed to get some sun on their cheeks.
Our bums have come along way since 99' and rapper Sir Mix-A-Lot has
taken the ass fixation to new, slightly worrying levels. Released
just in time for summer his song Baby Got Back features startlingly
blatant lyrics:
I
like big butts and I can not lie
You others brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
His
accompanying video makes just how ass obsessed we have become even
more apparent. He raps from a landscape of big, brazen, beautiful,
bouncy bums and even delivers the most poignant lyrics standing in
a bum crack. Its not just Sir Mix-A-Lot who is totally booty obsessed
either, a whole host of prominent hip-hop stars are rapping about
perfect posteriors and even those who are not still give centre to
their dancers perfect posteriors. The bum is now imbedded in an array
of elements of contemporary culture - the new erogenous zone looks
set to stay.
Sadly,
when it comes to rounded rumps biggest isn't necessarily best. There
is no disputing that to be in the running for rear of the year you
have to be a healthy size (this is one fashion that the catwalk clique
cannot lead) as the bare fact is, the bum is fat - but, alas, it needs
to be perk and the more gravity defying the better. Obviously this
is problematic for the vast majority of British women, who long for
the perfect, fuller, rounder, higher butt. This isn't the first time
women have craved a fuller behind - the Victorians wore bustles to
create the impression of some booty where there previously was none.
The fashion wheel has turned a full circle but now we're prepared
to go to much more extreme lengths to get our asses into shape.
The
plastic surgery industry is thriving from our new backside fetishism.
Rear implants are it in the chop and change world of cosmetic surgery
and they look good too. Fat is taken from a 'donor' area of the body
and then placed into the bottom, lifting the shape and increasing
the size. It's rumoured that Kylie is a fan of this procedure and
it's proving to be very popular with the posteriorly challenged. Other
less extreme, not to mention less expensive, options include Wonderbra's
Bottom Cleavage knickers, which give a lift from the seat of knickers
to create the illusion of a fuller behind and ample ass cleave - who
needs boobs? Perhaps, until now, one of the best-kept secrets in a
gay mans wardrobe was padded pants. Working on the sample principle
as the bustle this is simply the equivalent to a padded bra, definitely
not the sexiest or most comfortable lingerie to wear on a hot summers
day though.
For
most some sensible toning and a lot of squats will leave our asses
semi peach like and good enough to give the MTV girls a run for their
money (okay maybe not, call us optimists). Others will use the bum
fetish as a totally negative platform from which to spiral into new
depths of poor body image. Take it from fetishes come and go and,
sadly, one day the pictures of Gisele and Erin will be dusted off,
heroin chick will be reborn and we'll all fetishise a new body part
or by then total nudity maybe the only option. To think a few hundred
years ago British men blushed at the flash of an ankle and the thong
was on par with the peephole bra!
